maareessa

www.nytimes.com/2009/03/19/fashion/19brown.html

I just read an article about teenage girls who support Chris Brown and believe that Rihanna had it coming. Some think she provoked him, even that she carries the real blame. Um, can I just say how disgusted I am? I wasn't there, I don't know if Chris Brown is really a bad person. But what he did was inexcusable. He put this girl in the hospital! And fourteen year old girls with Chris Brown posters in their lockers believe that it's ok. Would they feel the same way if that was their boyfriend? Could they watch their best friend's boyfriend hit her and then tell her she shouldn't have provoked him?

They're angry with Rihanna for doing something so damaging to Brown. They feel that he shouldn't be punished, because she seems to have forgiven him and she must have said something harsh to set him off. Um, what difference does that make? He still committed a crime. The police report is out there for everyone to see. It's not as if he slapped her in the heat of the moment; he went all out, punching, biting, and choking her. He had time to realize what he was doing before he did such extensive damage. In my mind, there is absolutely no justification. Once she was unconscious, he left her there and drove off. And these high school girls don't think he should face any consequences? It makes me sick.

What do young girls think of their self worth if they think this is ok? I hate to believe that these girls feel like they're not worthy of someone who won't raise his hands to them. So many girls look up to Rihanna as a role model and won't question her decision to forgive him. I wish they would think for themselves and not believe that men are expected to do these things. By beating her, he was just living up to his role as a masculine, take-charge guy! Um, no. Just because you heard it in a rap song, that doesn't mean it's the norm, or acceptable at all.

Rather than idolizing pop stars, young girls should be looking up to intelligent, articulate, independent women. The best example of such a role model today would be Michelle Obama. Her husband is president, but she's already become an icon in her own right. She's a classy and elegant woman, but she doesn't play the part of submissive wife. She doesn't hide her intelligence, and doesn't apologize for being outspoken. I guarantee you Michelle Obama wouldn't let a man raise his hand to her. These misguided young girls need to realize what really matters and what they deserve.

It's not just teen girls who are making this mistake. I'm gonna get a little controversial on your ass, but it seems like whenever a prominent African-American is accused of a crime, the entire community is quick to defend him, even after the facts come out. On a gossip website catering to African-Americans, most of the people commenting on the original story either felt that it was Rihanna's fault, or that it simply wasn't a big deal.
- "that crazy b!tch prolly beat her own self up..."

Why is it that black celebrities accused of a crime are always being "set up"? Fans held signs of support during R. Kelly's child pornogrophy trial. Fans of O.J. seemed to think that a tight-fitting glove outweighs DNA evidence. Sometimes, the glove does fit. Why do they stand behind people like that when there are so many other African-Americans representing their community in a positve way? I don't get it.

Yesterday I read a news report that seriously disturbed me. A six-year-old boy was killed by a flying piece of debris at a monster truck show. Pieces of the truck began flying off, landing as high as fifty feet up into the stands. A frisbee-sized piece of metal weighing at least ten pounds hit the boy in the head.

I can't even imagine that scene. This boy was missing a substantial part of his skull, but at an event so loud and chaotic, only those in the section around him could have even realized what was happening. People were throwing cans at security guards just to get their attention. Finally someone realized that paramedics were needed, and still the show continued. A boy was dying on the bleachers, his step-sister covered in his blood, and they went on with the show.

I understand that amid the crowds and chaos, it may have been hard to initially realize how serious the situation was. But at some point, someone in charge knew that a child had been seriously injured, and they never stopped the show. Even worse, the four shows scheduled to take place after the boy died were business as usual. They hosed the blood off the bleachers, and went on with it. That's disgusting. The event organizers never even contacted the family. No condolences, no fuck you, nothing. If a family watched their child die at my event, I would be kissing their ass right now. Not just to avoid a lawsuit, but because I have a soul.

I hope they do file a wrongful death suit. They should at least get a fucking refund. I can't even imagine how gruesome the scene must have been. One minute you're enjoying the show, and suddenly your kid is on the floor, missing part of his head. I'm sorry to put that image into anyone's head, but I can't get it out of mine. I tried to forget about the article after I read it, but the minute I woke up this morning, I started thinking about it again.

Initially, the family asked that the boy's name and photo not be used because his older brother was out of the state for a wrestling tournament. I literally gasped when I read that. This boy is traveling with his teammates, getting psyched for his event, with no idea that his brother is gone. That made me think: if I were in that situation, would I want to know? If they had told him, he wouldn't have been able to compete. Maybe he could have set a new record. But what happens when he comes home with a trophy only to hear such tragic news? Is it worth it? He gets an extra couple days of peace, but there is still the betrayal of not being told, and the guilt of having fun while his family suffered.

I'm sorry for writing about something so horrible, but I really just had to get it out.

As I think about New Years resolutions, I have to reflect on the year that is ending. I have to consider everything I've learned, everthing I've experienced, the ways the world and I have changed.

One of last year's resolutions (which I actually followed through with) was to learn more about Buddhism. I'm still atheist, and don't refer to Buddhism as my "religion". But I have learned about the philosophy behind it, and I'm at least a little more spiritual than a year ago. I'm not gonna shave my head and wear robes, but that doesn't mean I can't be my own version of a Buddhist. I try to live in the present moment and look for my own path to enlightenment. I want to expand upon that in the coming year.

Something I didn't do in the first half of last year was give much thought to the second half. I thought I could move to a new city without long-term plans, and the rest would take care of itself. Obviously that was not the case. I told myself that I didn't know what I wanted, but I think I was too scared to want anything.

Unlike last year, I plan to put serious thought into my future. I'm not going to deny myself from going for what I want. I said I had no idea what careers I wanted to explore, but the fact is, I have a pretty good idea. I may not have the details, but I have a direction. The challenge lies in allowing myself to take actual steps toward it without fear of failure. I'm done being self-defeating; there's no reason for me not to try. I guess I thought I wasn't missing anything if I convinced myself I didn't really want it, but I realize now that that is total bullshit.

My plans could drastically change (I mean, who knows?), but as it stands now I want to start school in San Diego in the fall. I'm going to take school seriously, for a change. The first time, I was just going so that I could get away from here. But I actually really liked the city, and I want to go back and take advantage of what it has to offer.

So rather than say I'm going to organize my closet or go jogging, or something crazy like that, I basically just want to get out of my own way and allow myself to achieve whatever will make me happiest.

I don't understand the appeal of shopping on black friday. You might get some good deals, but you also have to deal with the crowds and the huge mess they leave. Either you wait in the cold at five a.m., or you sleep in and choose from what has already been picked over and left in the wrong spot. No thanks.

Every year there is, inevitably, some anecdotal news story about a woman smacked with a dvd player or someone who broke their ankle sprinting through a crowd to get the last xbox. I arrived at my retail job this morning at 6 am, already dreading the day ahead of me. the store had already been open an hour, so I wasn't there to see the intial rush as the doors open.

This morning, a seasonal employee at a Long Island Wal-Mart was trampled and killed as he unlocked the doors to let in the crowd that had been gathered since Thursday night. Some guy in his mid-thirties making minimum wage became a human doormat as a crowd of cold, sleep-deprived shoppers hopped up on caffeine stampeded their way into the store.

No individual can be assigned the blame; those in front were shoved by those in the back, and those in the back probably had no idea what was happening. They probably didn't realize when they went from stepping on each other's feet to stepping on a man's face. So since no one can be singled out, I'm going to blame all of them. I'm going to blame all of the people who are in such a rush, so wrapped up in their own life, that they wouldn't notice a man die in front of them. Hundreds of people stepped on him before other employees were able to reach him. Literally hundreds. When police finally reached him and were administering first aid, they were still being shoved by crowds.

So many people go about their lives thinking that their time is more valuable than anyone else's; that being rude and impatient is justified if it gets them something a little bit quicker. Drivers cut each other off, but at the next red light, they're going to lose the seconds they gained. People are so inside of their own worlds that they don't realize or care when they get in someone else's way. They are so concerned with getting what they want, and getting it first, that they don't care who they have to step on to get it. Literally.

goddammit, that's sad.

Last night I was watching CNN while they were showing live coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial verdict. I wouldn't have paid much attention, but I kept hearing "guilty" and realized that the other guy was found guilty on all counts. There's no way O.J.'s getting off now, right?  I had assumed that if O.J. can slaughter his wife and get away with it, there's no way he was gonna be put away for taking some memorabilia. But to my amazement, thirteen years to the day after that other trial, O.J. is guilty of all counts.

That's gotta be ultimate karma. I remember being five years old, and i'd never heard of The Juice, star football player. But I could immediately recognize his face as that man everyone was talking about, the one who might have killed his wife. I would see him on the covers of my mom's copy of National Enquirer, and I watched coverage of his trial. After all the craziness that was that trial, and the horrendous crime that was committed, he got off. He even had the audacity to write a "fictional" account of the murders. He must have thought he was untouchable. And now he faces life in prison for lesser crimes than murder, and I actually think he's gonna get it, too. Kinda ironic, isn't it? It's a little late coming, but at least in the end, he'll get what he deserved all along.

I absolutely despise Sarah Palin. She was selected for the VP nomination because she has a vagina and a couple of kids have crawled out of it. And the sad part is, there are ignorant soccer moms who actually believe that being a mom qualifies her to be VP. "She's a working mom just like me! She gets my vote!"

Anyone who believes she is qualified has been watching too many cheesy disney movies. Life DOES NOT work like a disney movie. Someone with nothing but a big heart just doesn't cut it. I think that most women are smart enough to see past the ploy to get female votes, but it pains me to realize that some just don't get it. Some Americans truly believe that they want someone "just like me" in charge of their country. Um, I'm not qualified to run this country, and neither are you.  It puzzles me when people complain about Obama being "elitist" or thinking he's "better than me!" Face it; you're not good enough to be presidient. I hate to burst your bubble, but yeah, you're gonna have to vote for someone better than you. I don't want the folksy Alaskan hockey mom, or the cowboy from Texas for that matter, just because you think they'd be fun to have a beer with. When it comes down to it, I want someone with a better education than me and a higher IQ than me. Someone more articulate than I am, and with better ideas than I have. In the real world, elite means better than the rest. So yeah, vote for the so-called elitist. He knows more than you do.